Posts from — January 2012

A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

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I’m tired of the noise. Tired of the silence. Tired of the struggle, the disappointment, the confusion, the frustration. I love it all. Well, I love the love, the new connections, the stories, the new words, the laughs, the embraces. But I’m tired.

I think most women go through this when they make that leap into motherhood, especially (perhaps?) those who make the crazy (and thoughtful) choice to stay home with their children. It’s exhausting. It’s tedious. There are moments of magic and sheer joy. Of course there are. Lots of them! But it’s tiring. How is it that something can simultaneously feel like the most rewarding and least rewarding thing possible? That’s how it feels. Sometimes.

Why don’t moms talk about the boring aspects so that when you feel bored you don’t feel quite so shitty about it? The sames stories. Over and over. Blocks knocked over but rarely and barely built up. Whines and ‘no’s and tugs and grabs and screams. It’s overwhelming at times. Why don’t people talk about that more?

Sure, I love the magical parts, the amazing stories, the new words, the daring, the giggles, the pure love and joy. I LOVE it all. To bits. But everyone talks about that.

But it goes on. The love goes and grows and we make it all work. We love each other. We try to remember to laugh. We smile when we’re tired. We try at least.

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