Posts from — December 2009

I loved taking part in Gwen Bell’s Best of 2o09 but we’ve reached the end. And the last prompt is…. drum roll please….

Resolution you wish you’d stuck with.
(You know, there’s always next year…)

I only made one and I kept it. We’re having a baby. This year’s may be tougher to stick with, but I’m hopeful.

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“There is always a limit to how much you can carry, but there is no limit to how much you can let go.”
-Christopher Orellana

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Ad.
What advertisement made you think this year?

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I just came across this here and decided to give it a shot. I make take my time with it and keep coming back. We’ll see how it goes. And yes, I’m a blogging fiend today.

1. What Do You Do For A Living?

Art direction for a web development company and graphic design and web design/development on a freelance basis.

2. Who Do You Love?

I love many people (and animals too). Family, friends, pets.

3. Do You Have Enough Money?

Never. Though I guess I do when it comes down to it because I have a house to live in, heat (usually!), a car, food… but more would be very helpful.

4. Are You Healthy?

Yes, I am healthy. Can I be more healthy? Yes. But I think I’m on track. Need to get back on track with exercising but the working full-time (and doing freelance work) in the third trimester is wearing me out.

5. Do You Think You Are a Good Person?

Definitely. I think my heart is usually in the right place. I forgive easily. I’m loyal. I’m honest. I care. Sometimes I may be too blunt or too harsh in my speech, but it’s not coming from a place of malice.

6. How Old Are You?

Well, 34 (35 next month) but I feel like I’m in my 20s most days.

7. Who’s Your Best Friend?

Dave. And in at second, it’s a tough choice – can’t pick just one.

8. What’s Your Childhood Dream?

It was to live in California. Still on my list.

9. How Often Do You Laugh?

Lately, I laugh every day (or pretty close). Pregnancy makes me laugh!

10. What Makes You Smile?

Waking up well-rested on Saturday mornings, Dave’s late night dances, our dogs, visiting my family in NJ, belly kicks, snow days (when we DO have power!), girls nights, dirty martinis, exhausting hikes, taking a perfect photo, finishing a project, gigantic family get-togethers (especially since I don’t get them much anymore), Christmas tree hunting, first days of spring, relaxing by candle-light, impromptu late nights with friends, camping, blasting music, late-night conversations, road trips, walks on the beach, naps on the beach, dolphins, dreaming, getting my hands dirty, seeing old friends and having it feel completely normal and comfortable, talks with dave about our future (talks, not “talks”), writing, rainbows, vacations, new jobs, romantic dinners, long loud dinners, date nights, NYC, art openings, bare feet in summer, long summer days and nights, the future.

11. Who’s Your Most Dangerous Enemy?

Probably myself, thought not lately. Besides me, mum is the word.

12. Where Do You Live?

I live in a temporary spot for now. It’s sort of like transitional housing. It’s not really a home, but a house, and that’s okay for now. The future knows more about home than I do at the moment.

13. Do You Think You’re Strong?

Yes, usually. Strength in my beliefs but flexible enough to let them change and grow.

14. What Was The Most Important Thing You’ve Done So Far?

Probably getting pregnant. And in at close second, letting go.

15. What Was The Most Stupid Thing You’ve Done So Far?

Most stupid? I’ve done many stupid things, but it’s tough to pick a most out of them. Probably not trusting myself.

16. Do You Love Yourself?

Yes!

17. What Do You Fear The Most?

One of my biggest fears is being apathetic and/or being content with being content. Not striving for more, not caring to try or getting too caught up in life’s mundane things to find the time/energy/etc. I like to think that being aware that that happens to too many people will ensure it won’t happen to me.

18. What Is Your Favorite Word?

Enigmatic. Well, either that or fuck f&*k.

19. When Was The Last Time You Cried?

Yesterday. Hormones. No heat. Work suckage. Tiredness.

20. What Is The Best Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?

Well, there’s the easy one – things can continue going smoothly with pregnancy and we will have an amazingly perfect baby. Next up? Dave gets a job in the perfect spot (northern Cali, Oregon coast, right here, western Mass) making the perfect amount of money and I get lots of freelance work with excellent and fun clients.

21. What Is The Worst Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?

Hmm. I’d like to pass on this one.

22. Picture Yourself In 5 Years From Now

Happy, creative, running my own (design) business from home, living in our perfect home in a progressive town/city with 2 or 3 kids.

23. Do You Regret Anything?

Hmmmm. Not going to art school but only twinges of regret. I think it all worked out perfectly.

24. What’s The First Thing You Do In The Morning?

Cringe (I hate waking up early), then hop in the shower; well, more like drag myself into the shower than hop.

25. What Are You Thinking Just Before Going To Bed?

Lately, I’m so tired I’m not thinking about anything before going to bed except for how tired I am.

26. What Was The Highest Point You’ve Ever Been To?

Somewhere in Yellowstone or Glacier but I’m not sure which is higher. Glacier is my guess – Going to the Sun Road? I’ll have to look it up.

27. If There’s One Thing In Your Life You Want To Change Right Now, What Is It?

I’d like more time and I’d like more financial security.

28. What Are You Proud Of?

Proud of getting some clients and doing freelance work and continuing to learn the ins and outs of it (now, if I could only master taxes).

29. Sum Up Your Life In One Sentence

An incomplete journey toward creativity, peace, and happiness.

30. Name The Thing That Annoys You The Most

Lies.

31. What Is Your No 1 Question To God?

Why did you let money come into being?

32. Do You Have Secrets?

Of course. For various reasons.

33. What Makes You Laugh?

Well, this was also in my smile list, but Dave’s late night dances crack me up (and no, I can’t describe or share them).

Ok, I lied. There are 34 questions:

34. Are You Happy?

Yes, despite feeling drained lately and poor and tired, despite the feeling like a dark cloud tends to follow us at times, I am very, very, very happy.

***

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A gene targets the thirst.
Like an itch scratched only once, then forgotten.
She wimpers without weeping;
and her cries echo through the matrix.
Tearless; trapped.

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This year has definitely been a year of change. Some of the highlights and lowlights, things that have happened, things I’ve done, things I’ve learned:

• Job transition (started in 2008 but kept transitioning), pay cut (yikes! not fun!).
• Said good-bye to Mr. Boodles, an amazing, smart, friendly dog. We buried him in our yard in Mars Hill as it snowed. We included food and love
• Said good-bye to our cat Drifter later in the year (after moving). We think she was just too cool for the new neighborhood and found some awesome farm to live on.
• Added a new dog to our family. Molly is a bad-ass (no, we didn’t give her that name – she came with it) for sure!
• Got pregnant!
• Moved out of our cozy little house in Mars Hill – a bittersweet experience – the first place Dave and I lived together. Got pregnant there. Gained and lost pets. Learned about each other more than ever before. Dave started and finished grad school there. Enjoyed the quiet, private spot with amazing energy that was already there when we arrived. We both did a lot of growing in that house.
• Found out about being pregnant the day after we finished moving into our new place
• Said hello to a giant house on a lake in Weaverville and said hello to new roommates (Marly and Erich)
• Drove to New Mexico in March; fell in love with Santa Fe; drove through Texas (yeah, it’s ginormous); saw White Sands and Gila Cliff Dwellings; luxuriated in Holiday Inn Xpress after doing the opposite in Super 8; enjoyed the freedom of the road and no plans; missed N’awlins due to tired, late, and rainy
• Learned how to bake an amazing sweet potato pie
• Fit in a hike or two early in pregnancy (before it really kicked me in the butt)
• Built some confidence in freelance
• Didn’t learn to manage my time
• Made a baby list
• Took time out for rest, relaxing, reading, vegging
• Came up with a name for the baby (if she’s a she)
• Struggled with boy’s names (still struggling with that one) Elijah and Ignatious (or is it with a ‘c’, Dave?) are head to head and I think it will be a draw
• Attended lots of weddings! (four, I believe ?)
• Started Atlas Shrugged (again)
• Hosted Thanksgiving and decided not to do that again while pregnant
• Stuck to my new years intention
• Started blogging more
• Grew (in more ways than one)
• Had a love hate relationship with my camera and didn’t take enough photos
• Really dug into Wordpress
• Practice a lot of yoga in the first half of the year (not as much a fan of prenatal yoga)
• Learned (and am still learning) how to deal with temporary blockages of creativity – it’s not easy, but sometimes it’s just a matter of finding new outlets and thinking outside of the box
• Read lots of baby books then took a long break (time to pull some new ones out now)
• Learned that snow storms in the south aren’t as fun as they are in the north because they render everything powerless (figuratively and literally)
• Although some amazing things happened in 2009 and I wouldn’t trade it in for anything, a lot of setbacks also happened and I’m looking forward to 2010 – another year of tremendous change and growth – and good fortune! And babies! (well, one anyway!)
• Learned that moleskin notebooks are not “mole” “skin” notebooks (not that I thought they were made of moleskin but I thought that’s how they were pronounced. They are actually pronounced: mol-a-skeen’-a Crazy!

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