Sometimes it’s so easy to get wrapped up and embedded in what we think someone is insinuating when none of it is based in reality. It’s so difficult at times to let go of these thoughts that feel like reality. I find myself holding on to them so tightly sometimes that they manifest into reality just from squeezing too hard and thinking too much and analyzing to a fault. Who knows if this makes sense. I need to really practice…well, I think I have in the past year or so…sitting with a feeling and letting it pass instead of picking it apart and dwelling in it and making it bigger than everything else surrounding me. When I feel like something is off or when I hear a tone in someone’s voice that makes me question their feelings toward me I need to just sit. I guess this is just a reminder to myself. Feel. Sit. After a while it will pass and it won’t even really mingle with reality. It will just be gone.

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Flappp… flappp.
She heard the sound echoing around her.
Flap flap.
The sound was heavy and commanding,
A prehistoric bird perhaps, swooping in
To snatch her from herself.

Opening her eyes, enveloped
By white light
And a heavy vibration in
Her empty chest.
White light shrouded by impossible
Wings above her.
Magnificent grace.

She could see no face.

Flapp flap.
She opened her mouth;
Everything
Was wrong.
She tried to scream.

Flapp flap.
Was the only sound.
Slow and pregnant.

Tilting her head and searching around her
All she could see was
Endless wings.
The empty chests of countless girls
Like her.

A wing reached down and covered her.
Grace reformed to heaviness and darkness.
Taking her breath as she gasped one last time.

This is just a very rough first draft still…inspired by an interview with poet laureate Billy Collins heard on NPR yesterday.

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