Posts from — May 2006

And multitudes disappear

Tied up in strings
Of their past and dreams lost
They cry in the shadows, Hiding
their tears from the masses.

Curling up in corners,
Bellies up against the wall, They
abandon the sunshine for the dark
depths of despair

Their cries are silenced by the night
And no one sees the stains
on their flesh; Or the streaks in their eyes
And they seamlessly melt into the core
Of us all.

-By me so don’t steal

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What causes these moods to just speed in and smash us down? And is it “us” or is it just “me”? Do all of us sometimes feel like manic depression or psychotic moodiness is invading our psyche even though we would never really be diagnosed with a disorder found in the DSM? How is it that, after feeling fine and positive and in the mood to face the world and life, that something so miniscule (and often usually unidentifiable) can just knock everything off balance and put questions and paranoia in parentheses around every word, action and motion made and said to us and toward us and sometimes even the ones that have nothing to do with us whatsoever. I know I should stop saying “us” but maybe it feels safer that way.

Anyway, I write this to the internet and listen to the hum of the computer and Beth Orton’s magical voice is singing about regrets and lessons and I feel like it’s all about to come together and make some sort of sense and that there will be some great positive spin on it all. I mean, come on…. “it’s like catching snow on my tongue…” how great is that?

And after all, the future is filled with exciting changes and new locations and art and mountains and positive activity, but I’ll explain all that another day.

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a little flower portrait . . . before she wilts . . .

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Gary Markestein

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“…The lesson being, head in the direction you are drawn to, even if you think it’s impossible or you don’t know how you will manage. Once you make the decision completely to do something the universe will jump in to help you out.” ~Keri Smith

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