Posts from — December 2005

Another ragged post. I just read this though….

A medicine woman said to me once
“Chase the Dark. Eat it. It will
become you.”
‘and what’s that?’
I asked
“whatever you have become.”
she said.
~Tori Amos

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I followed you through the dark winding street
Water dripping at my heels and sounds pulsing from my chest.
I don’t think you heard them though.
Never allowing less than seventeen yards between us,
I wondered if you knew I was there.
If you did, you never let on
Your step never quickened and your neck never swung back to look
For me.
It felt like a dream but I think I was really there. And I didn’t dream tonight.
Maybe I was only visiting your dreams; maybe the dream king shared the memory with me
And now you’re left with me in your dream, though you never looked back.
I wonder if you remember me.
I can still smell the rain on the dirt covered cement and the beer drifting out of the lazy dark bars.

First draft – working…

All those moments will be lost in time
Like tears in rain.
— Rutger Hauer, as Roy, in Blade Runner

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Wow, I haven’t really been posting much. Busy I suppose. Feeling weird this holiday season. Normally I am so excited at this time of year, with the holiday spirit swirling around, and knowing I will soon be hanging out with my family which is almost always a very fun time spent. This year though…I don’t know. I just feel a bit different. I guess change happens. I’ve been busy for one thing. I think I need to just re-realize the spirit that I love about this time of year and allow myself to linger in it for a while. . .without guilt or any similar feeling. Because what I just remembered is this time of year is fun!

So much on my mind though. Things that seem so scary and things that I feel alone in dealing with. Which is maybe the way I need to deal with them. I’m not sure though. It doesn’t feel like I should be. Confusing time right now. Things feel off. I feel off. I feel like I’ve been running around and doing this and that that I have forgotten about the things I like to do and the fun things in life and the joy of doing nothing and relaxing. It’s sad when that happens. Time slips these things away from us and once we realize it, sometimes they’re so far gone that it’s tough to recapture them. And capturing them in the first place isn’t the answer anyway. I mean, it’s letting go of it all, isn’t it? But what should we let go of? How do we know?

Ramble ramble.

Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness.
~May Sarton

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This quote just made me chuckle this morning….

Now, my good man,this is no time for making enemies.
-Voltair On His Deathbed In Response To A Priest Asking That He Renounce Satan

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You dreamed you were God
and awoke alone and cold.
Large giant of perception
with fingers of fire
Striking down the weak
around him. Fierce energy.
Your voice must have washed
through his empty intestines
as he became you
In dreams
and in waking life
as you walk tall and speak sure.
God in your gaze and in the
notes and waves that swirl
from your tongue
Wrapping around everything
within and without reach.
Whose god was it that I heard
whisper prophetic truths to me
in the night?
Was it you, love?
I fall back into dreamland
with one eye open and no dreams.

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I am really digging some of the lo-fi stuff on this “net label”’s site….
Check out the releases on the site – really quick loading and good sound quality:

http://www.sundaysinspring.net/

I’m still making my way through it all, but enjoying everything I’ve heard so far…

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