I’m feeling soft tonight.
I feel like there are all these little soft spots and empty pockets around me and in me and on me that are yearning to be filled up.
I’m missing places that I wish I could hold onto better, though I know that’s really never the answer.
I’m missing friends who I don’t speak to enough, don’t see enough, don’t laugh with enough.
I’m missing the ones who I fear I’ve let slip away.
I’m missing the ones I’ve held at arms length.
I’m missing the deep, into-the-wee-hours conversations that make you rethink life and the world and what you are doing in the next day or week or hour.
I’m missing freedom and lack of schedules.
I’m missing hours of fresh air each day and sitting to watch the sunlight in the trees change into the gloaming as night approaches.
I’m not sad though.
I just feel soft and a little achey for these things.
Maybe it’s dream time…soft silhouettes and rich colors, sounds we never hear in waking life and fabulous touches unknown in the day…

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Eight Easy Steps
by Alanis Morissette

How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solve-able predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them
run away from you

How to keep people at arm’s length
and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly
love the most
How to pretend you’re fine and don’t need
help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you’re serving
or helping someone

I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you how to in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when
taught by the best

How to hate women when you’re supposed
to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you’re
really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you’re a pray-er
and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies
by fears of success

I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you how to in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when
taught by the best

I’ve been doing research for years
I’ve been practicing my ass off
I’ve been training my whole life for
this moment I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed
leader before you

I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you how to in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when
taught by the best

How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you’re thinking of
killing yourself
How to numb a la holic to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming
them for everything

I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you how to in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when
taught by the best

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