Posts from — June 2005

“I will experience the sheer joy of creating something.” ~ from my Just for today calendar on my desk

Coincidence? It’s how I feel today. Filled with desire to create something. I am just having a tough time finding my focus. I have so many ideas, and can’t seem to sit down and listen to one of them. I feel like I need to sit and hang out with it, maybe just with a pencil and paper at first to see where it leads. And I forgot to bring my Focus Fuze drink. Hehe.

D helped me out a lot this past weekend. More than I realized and more than he probably did. While camping, we sat and talked about drawing and I had a sketchbook out and we just drew together. I felt so intimidated at first, but then I realized that he wasn’t going to judge me based on what I drew on that piece of paper and I felt this freedom. It felt so freeing to feel comfortable drawing with someone, specifically him, watching. I just felt so at ease with him and with my talents, that, though they may not be where I would like them to be, are at least growing. I was also so impressed with his teaching. It was so easy and helpful. Great little moment there. I think it will stick with me.

So, back to the present. My itching and yearning to create something. I want to create something BIG but I feel like I don’t have the space or the means. So what should I do? Still figure that out. I guess for now, I should just let go and create what comes to me, though that will probably be a work-related project right now, but hopefully it will come out wonderful.

For this summer, some things I want to do…

-Camp as much as possible
-Spend as much time as possible outside
-Have a Succulent Wild Women party where we paint, talk, listen to music and drink yummy drinks and eat luscious food and spend the entire day soaking in the sun and each other
-Go to Montana
-Apply to schools and not look back
-Kayak more
-Spend a chunk of time on the beach
-Play
-Run
-Hike a lot
-Eat healthier
-Enjoy the silence and notice the natural sounds within that silence, like the wind whispering, crickets discussing, birds flirting, creek crying
-Go on picnics
-Lie on a blanket and stargaze
-Have more amazing conversations that blow me away and that I feel changed, if only at that moment, by
-Throw things out – simplify
-Have patience
-Keep in better touch with friends
-Make some jewelry
-Volunteer!
-Rock climb
-Read this Stephen Hawking book that seems so interesting and exciting but that keeps putting me to sleep
-Paint/collage/draw/ink on a huge piece of canvas (where???)
-Do the above and also write more and take more photos
-Read more
-Let go

Last thing is to not beat myself up if all of these things don’t happen.

Thanks to a “RedClay”, a girl whose blog I came across on the internet for inspiring me to write today.

~K

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
~Margaret Mead

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So, a certain someone said “I thought you were going to post every day”. I guess I haven’t succeeded in that department. It’s the slacker procrastinator in me that I have such a love/hate relationship with.

On another note….how can we sometimes be so separated from reality and pass over the line from reality onto the side of living in a complicated, emotional, and chaotic place in our head? Oh, we go about our lives as if we are living with our feet firmly planted on the ground, but meanwhile we are creating a fantasy world in our minds filled with melodrama and doubt, pain and paranoia.

Reading: Jack London Call of the Wild
Listening to: Emer Kenny
Want to see: Lords of Dogtowm

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This is a photo I took when I was visiting Berkeley. Wish I was there now. Oh, how I love California!

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Digital V2 

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I decided to take a different approach to the digital topic.
Since I’m constantly immersed in the digital world of computers and electronics, I decided to opt for defining digital as relating to digits…fingers… Ahhhh… the reality of touch.

According to several dictionaries:
Defintion 1. Of, relating to, or resembling a digit, especially a finger.

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